Thank you for this story. I have a difficult family and had a difficult childhood, and as I’ve gotten older I’ve started to come to terms with how much pain and suffering my own parents went through before they even brought me into the world. Much of what you say here applies to my situation. Of course , I haven’t gone so far as to remove them from my life, but I did move to a different time zone in order to cope. And with every visit (which i just visited this past week) I realize how much of their pain affects our current relationship. It’s good to be reminded that this it true, that others have gone through it, and that there are ways to deal.
It’s so great that you have recognized the toxicity and moved away from it as much as possible. I also appreciate that you still keep them in your life and don’t shut them out completely. It is so much more difficult with family and you seem to be managing it well. Thank you for your feedback… Hope to hear from you again :-).